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Have you ever noticed the shelf of shame?

savannah

Posted by savannah over 2 years ago
Last active over 2 years ago 25 responses

I was in Sainsbury’s this morning and wandered down the toiletry aisle for a few ‘essentials’. As I headed for the checkout, I passed the shelf for condoms and noticed that for £8 you can buy a vibrating cock ring. Sex toys in Sainsbury’s! (tee hee!) Seeing this made me stop and inspect the other treats Sainsbury’s had on offer…

Who the hell chooses the product placement? Is it some kind of joke? A meter of shelving, from floor upwards, contained the most embarrassing products in the store. The condoms and cock rings were placed next to cystitis medication and right above the pregnancy tests – because that’s a nice reminder, if ever so slightly too late. Above the condoms were the medication for foot fungus and warts. There was more but I lost my nerve to stand there much longer – as if whatever hideously embarrassing thing I needed wasn’t there.

Is it supposed to be a one-stop-shop for all that is blush inducing, or is it just a horribly inappropriate use of space?

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25 responses

BraveNewMalden

Helpful of you to include ‘warts’ as one of your tabs. You never know. You just never know.

Posted over 2 years ago by BraveNewMalden

iSleepDiagonal

I hear that the Durex cock-rings are rubbish. Bloke down the pub told me.

Do you go somewhere else to get yours, sav? Any recommendations?

Posted over 2 years ago by iSleepDiagonal

Beagleskin

I am fascinated by this shelf of shame. If they have moved all the embarrassing stuff from the obvious places to this shelf then that means people will have to ask staff where they are…

Love it.

Posted over 2 years ago by Beagleskin

BraveNewMalden

Where do they keep Aunt Bessie’s Toad in the Hole, as a matter of interest?

Posted over 2 years ago by BraveNewMalden

Strawhair

They sell cystitis medication in my local Costcutter. It’s shelved beside the bags of travel sweets. I like to think there’s a coded message here I’ve never managed to decipher.

Why are people embarrassed to buy condoms? I buy them ceaselessly, far more often than my sexlife warrants. The tellers in Tesco look at me aghast, or occasionally askance.

They so want me.

So IT’S WORKING.

Posted over 2 years ago by Strawhair

pottytime

I wonder what you could get in your local Pound Shop? A Rampant Dormouse?

They don’t sell the sort of thing you’ve described in my Sainsbury’s, although I may have a closer look next time. Having said that, I doubt anybody would know what to do with one, unless the instructions were monosyllabic.

Posted over 2 years ago by pottytime

Strawhair

I need to know if the cock ring was a Sainsbury’s own brand. Or perhaps it had damaged packaging and was adorned with ‘WHOOPS!’ stickers. Were that the case, I bet my grandmother would have bought at least one. She can’t resist anything that’s coated in yellow price-reduction labels.

Posted over 2 years ago by Strawhair

Beagleskin

Do they have Sainsbury’s Basics condoms, do you think?

Posted over 2 years ago by Beagleskin

braintree

I always seem to end up by the shelf of shame when I just want some painkillers. I’m starting to think I like looking at the cock rings and looking aghast at the price of condoms(Is it me or are they quite expensive?) on purpose.

My favourite dodgy product is Poundland pregnancy tests, which I think are just litmus paper that you used in science class…

Posted over 2 years ago by braintree

Beagleskin

Tell me they do not really have Poundland bun-in-the-oven tests. And how much are they?

Posted over 2 years ago by Beagleskin

BraveNewMalden

In north Norfolk they have ‘Everything for a Grand’ shops.

Posted over 2 years ago by BraveNewMalden

braintree

They do, Beagle but I’ve not seen them for ages so I think there were complaints. I’m now imagining it to be like the Krusty Brand Pregnancy test in The Simpsons.

“May cause birth defects”

Posted over 2 years ago by braintree

Beagleskin

I think anything from Poundland would cause birth defects.

I once went to Poundland Wandsworth when looking for packing stuff to see if I could have their leftover cardboard boxes, since they were going to chuck them anyway. Mr Poundland said it was fine, then thought better of it and said I could have them for a pound each! I declined. Cheeky fucker.

Posted over 2 years ago by Beagleskin

MarkE

I believe shelf arrangement is based on purchasing demographic.

So people who typically buy cockrings must also want pregnancy tests and wart cream.

You obviously haven’t noticed the dildo layout under the banana stand

Posted over 2 years ago by MarkE

BraveNewMalden

There used to be people – and I was one – who practiced ‘product displacement’ in supermarkets. This basically meant moving things from one shelf to another. But they had to be the right things to the right shelves. Air Fresheners amongst the Baked beans was a popular one. Alka Seltzer to the wine section is almost too obvious.

Thanks to MarkE for reminding me of this appalling episode of my history.

Posted over 2 years ago by BraveNewMalden

pottytime

BNM’s idea sounds like it should be a thread all of its own. And so it shall be!

Posted over 2 years ago by pottytime

flippy

I assume these vibrating cock rings are Durex Play ones… Durex have a whole range of seedy products which is made acceptable partly by their brand, and partly by the fact they’re sold in pharmacies/supermarkets.

I’ve never bought any because they can’t be placed amusingly over your head.

Posted over 2 years ago by flippy

SuckMonster

“Where do they keep Aunt Bessie’s Toad in the Hole, as a matter of interest?”

Next to Mr Brain’s faggots. Of course.

Posted over 2 years ago by SuckMonster

spanky

I went to my local supermarket and puchased a pack of five (albeit rather large) cockrings. Oh the fun Mr. Spanky and I had that night. Woke up in a bed of crumbs…....turned out they were bagels!

Posted over 2 years ago by spanky

Mellie

I can report no cock rings for sale in Finsbury Park Tesco’s. I was a bit disappointed, even though I have no use for them personally.

Posted over 2 years ago by Mellie